Change is in order.

I am in the process of making some changes in my life. Some people may get upset during this transitional stage, but it is truly for the better.

A few weeks ago, my dad had a seizure and a slight stroke and went into the hospital. He had surgery to stop the bleeding on his brain and he seemed to be doing well. Then he needed another surgery to unclog the shunt in his arm for dialysis. It was after that surgery that things started looking kinda grim.

During this entire process, I realized a lot and I am grateful for the lessons. I remember this lady told me some years ago that I tend to value friendships more than others. I knew that but I didn't know how to handle it. I am no longer going to be the anchor in many of my relationships.

My dad's death, along with my friend Shalonda said this " But I do know this much for as long as I've known and interacted with you and your family, you ALL have always opened your hearts and home unselfishly to sooo many!!! You and your family serve as the "rock" too many. If there was anything anyone needed you guys are there jolly on the spot!!! It just hurts so bad because so many go to you all for consoling advice and assistance."

My father's death was so unexpected. There were some people who said some bizarre things to my family and I will never forget that. If you have never lost someone close to you and have to deal with foolishness in the process, you will never truly understand what I'm going through. I am taking time to re-evaluate all of my relationships. The people who call themselves my friend but have never really shown themselves friendly will be eliminated from my life. Those family members who only call or come around when it is convenient for them, are gone. Those males who are always in my face pretending like they really want to be with me but during this time of need, they were M.I.A.

These changes are inevitable and during the process some people may get their feelings hurt; however, I have to do this to maintain my peace of mind. I am only going to nurture relationships that are nurturing to me.

WOW!

Yesterday and today I was out running some errands and I saw a bunch of fashion bloopers and blunders. In some instances, I couldn't believe my eyes.

The first one was a woman with more dimples than a golf ball and more cottage cheese than Breakstones and she had the nerve to have on some daisy dukes! I couldn't believe my eyes. They were screaming "Stop it, please!" This woman had the nerve to be sharing her sexual escapades. I think she thought it was cute but she sounded like a low budget ho.

The next one was a young girl (maybe 16)who was wearing some black sheer leggings with some polka dot panties. Now, I'm sure this girl didn't realize how she looked. Maybe her mom doesn't know any better so she can't teach her to do any better.

Yesterday, I was in the store and this woman was walking in some high heels. As she was walking, you could hear the nail in the heel. Ladies, take your shoes to the shoe repair shop or pitch them when the tip is missing. Stop wearing them. It is not cute and it is annoying to the ear.

Now, I know some people may not think anything was/is wrong with these things, but I couldn't believe some of the people were actually out and about looking the way they were. What happened to women of color looking decent when they leave the house? Does that even happen anymore?

Another year.

A few days ago (3 to be exact) I celebrated my 35th birthday. I was contemplating on having a birthday party but then life got in the way and I just didn't have the time to plan it properly.

In recent months, I have been invited to adult birthday parties and you are expected to pay for your own lunch or dinner and bring them a gift! Now, when people plan parties for their children, they don't ask you to pay for your child, so why do they do this as adults?

This is just my opinion and I am not asking people to agree with it although a lot of the etiquette experts would agree as well, if you are planning a birthday dinner party, you should pick up the tab and do not expect a gift. If people want to bring you a gift they will do so on their own, but it should not be expected. I always like to believe that a parties are a way of celebrating with those who are close to you. If you are planning a party to gain, maybe you should reconsider doing this.

Growth

In a few weeks, I'll turn 35. I've learned so much about life and people in general. I'm grateful for the lessons that I've learned and I'm looking forward to many more.

Hmm...

I think I like him.

To settle or not to settle: That is the question.

I got this article from a friend today and I found it quite interesting.

In this article, the author( who is a woman) suggests that women who desire marriage need to settle. She suggests this for women who are 30ish and older.

One issue I have is that there is never much talk about men settling. In most cases the man is not settling, he's getting a good thing. There are some men who may settle for a woman who may not be the prettiest, but she possesses some domestic skills that may seem appealing to the man.

Another issue was the suggestion that women are too picky or standards are too high. Why is it that women are too picky or standards are too high when they want certain things? If a man wants a women with certain standards, nothing is wrong with that. It's that old double standard.

I think the biggest issue I have with the article was the moms who were encouraging their daughters to settle. What ever happened to a mom wanting what's best for her daughter? Is settling what's best? I am not sure.

What happened to trusting God to give you the desire of your hearts? I guess after a certain age, that goes out the window with the bath water. I am not an advocate for anyone settling. I think it sets women up for a life of misery. It is okay to compromise, but not your beliefs. When women start to do that, I believe they lose sight of who they are.