I was speaking to a friend today and he and I talk on a regular basis. We have this joke that he is my FB (fake boyfriend). Well, a couple of months ago he purchased a new luxury vehicle. We always share our good and bad times, so I told him to stop by so I can see it. Today, I teased him about how he hasn't taken me for a ride in this new car and he said when he had come by, I was on my way out with my FB. That sparked my latest rant.
I was telling him how I have men interested (so they say) in dating me, but they are not ready for me. I know from other men I have dated (that realized after the fact) what type of woman I am and my worth. Well, I proceeded to rant about how men think because you are a single woman and they are a single man, you automatically want to get married (to them). I had to tell him that I think it is nice that these men think highly of themselves, but who said I wanted to marry them? Now, don't get me wrong, I would like to get married one day, but I want it to be for keeps. I am not going to marry any ole' body who comes along. My friend politely told me that [maybe] my standards are higher than most women and [maybe] I intimidate these men.
I don't know if my standards are high but I think after you reach a certain age, you should be a man of your word. (The same goes for ladies.) I think after you reach a certain point in your life, the foolishness should stop. I don't feel like I should have to tell a man that I like to go out every once in a while. I also don't feel like I should have to tell a man that I like to smell flowers while I am breathing. I also don't think I should have to fight to get a man's time. I should not have to tell him everything that I like to do. I think he should take the time to figure it out if he is truly interested. I think these are things that he should know and understand. I also don't believe I should settle for second best. I work to provide a life for my daughter and myself. I am trying to get some things going for me so I don't necessarily have to work hard my entire life and I don't have a lot of time for stress.
Just the past few weeks, I have gotten calls from guys I haven't spoken to in months/years. One guy told me how he didn't realize how much I had helped him to become the person he is today until after I stopped talking to him. This was the same dude who got me a less than stellar gift for Christmas. If it is the thought that counts, he was truly thoughtless. I told him thank you for allowing me to hear this while I am alive (you do know most people don't share these thing until someone dies)and he really made my day. (I think he did that because I sent him a text message[that he claims he didn't get] after I had seen him and his family[some girl and a child] at church that Sunday.)
Another guy called me and he is too busy trying to get me in his bed he can't clean his house. Now, don't get me wrong, everything I own doesn't have a place, but I don't have crap all over the place (you moved into over a year ago) and call myself tyring to have company. I don't mind a little paper, but when there is paper where furniture should be, something is wrong. Also, when your dishes haven't been washed in over a week and you have a dishwasher, you living nasty.
Then, I had one guy to act a fool because we were supposed to get together and he called to cancel/reschedule at the last minute. Now, I am flexible, but don't act like I don't have a life. He got mad because I had plans for later and he pulled a "B" move and didn't answer my calls. Then he said "He was feeling pressured". I am not sure how when he cancelled on me.
(This happened a while ago, but I had to throw it in.) I also had this one guy try to pretend like he was something he was not. He was trying to be a baller and a shot caller. He invited me out and told me my daughter could come. We rode out to Schaumburg with him and we got something to eat on the way back. Now prior to this, he was trying to act like he had it going on. So I decided we would go to Shaw's Crab House because that and Pompeii's were the only places I noticed. Well, he ordered some gumbo and was picking at it with his fork, only eating the shrimp out of it. He kept on saying to us to get what we wanted, so my daughter (who knows little about being modest) ordered calamari for an appetizer, her entree was shrimp and scallops and we shared a creme brulee for desert. My silly daughter told me that when the check arrived, the guy eyes got real huge. She did wait until a few weeks later to tell me. I laughed so hard. My daughter asked me if I had spoken to him lately and when I told her no, that is when she shared his facial expression with me. She also told me that she probably busted his wallet and he shouldn't have told her to order whatever she wanted.
Now, I say all of this because I had to get this rant off my chest. I like to go out and I also like to feel appreciated every once in a while. I don't think I should have to tell a man who is supposed to be grown these things. I think he should try to get to know me to see what I like. The guy who gave me the cheesy gift, obviously didn't know me that well. We had dated for a few years (at least I thought) and he still got me something that was not me. I wonder why guys do things like that? This guys would always call me and I would be in one of my favorite stores, Target. Logic says that he should have gotten a gift card to that store, but he didn't. I also had a guy to buy me some products from Bath and Body Works. Now he got a fragrance that is not my favorite and a product that I don't use. Now, I did appreciate that gift more than I did the other gift. I just think that gifts are personal and if you don't really know a person in that manner, gift cards or cash is always good.
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