Race does matter.

I was approached by a friend (Amy Fuji) to write this post (for Open Salon) and I am really not sure how to approach this subject. It stemmed from a reply I wrote on Neilpaul’s topic “Black versus White, or Why I’m lucky to be White.” Amy suggested I write about my experiences as a Black woman in a white world and she would write about being a white woman working in a predominately Black environment. I strongly urge you to read her counterpoint and leave messages for both of us.

I am an educated Black single mother who lives on the South Side of Chicago. If you check the stats, by all means, I should not have a college degree. I should have at least two additional children (by two different men), living in some type of housing development and receiving public aid. Oh, I should have dropped out of high school a long time ago. Well, the reality is this, when I had my daughter, I had completed high school and two years of college. I left the hospital on my 21st Birthday. Some people will say that I beat the odds, but some days I am not too sure.
I am in the process of looking for a home and I often wonder will I be able to achieve my American dream. What most white people don’t realize is, my dream is slightly different from their’s. I am not looking for a white picket fence with 2.5 children (how do you get .5 children, one will never know) and a dog or cat. That is not my dream. My dream is to be able to purchase a nice, affordable home in a decent neighborhood. I would like to get married one day, but the sad reality is many Black men are reluctant to take this step for a variety of reasons. Some of them are fear; fear of failure, fear of commitment, and fear of what their friends will say. Then there are some guys who are afraid of marrying a woman who has an education and earns more than he does. You do know there are more Black men in prison than enrolled in college, so the likelihood of me marrying an educated Black man is slim.

I am a strong proponent and supporter of higher education and just because I want my daughter to attend a Historically Black College or University (HBCU) does not mean that I am racist. I know the world is not completely Black. I’m sorry, but I am reminded of that on a daily basis, whether it is directly or indirectly. I think a lot of white people mistake me wanting to be around people who look like me as being unrealistic but it's not. Well, let me tell you this, I know the world is not completely Black and this is not why I am an advocate for HBCU’s. I think the media does a good job of portraying Blacks in a negative light and I think it is important to young children to see otherwise. You do know it was illegal for Black people to get an education and this is how HBCU’s came about. Shame on me for wanting to support these institutions of higher learning, because someone thought enough of future generations to start a school. When many white people sit around the dinner table and discuss their children’s future, I wonder how many of them mention institutions such as Howard University, Hampton University, or Clark-Atlanta University. I also believe that if a lot of white people won't send their children to the public school with my child, why should I pay for her to go to school with them?
I don’t think many white people understand what it’s truly like to be a minority. Oftentimes, I feel like the man in Ralph Ellison’s Invisible Man. This unnamed character walks around and is socially invisible to others. See, if you have never experienced something like this, you will never know how it feels. Even if you think you’ve experienced it, imagine if you had to live your entire life feeling invisible. It is not a good feeling and there’s nothing you can do about it. There are times when I am with my white counterparts and they are discussing people/things that I know nothing about or is not relevant to me.

Now as it relates to careers, I have seen countless qualified Black people passed over for promotions and given some lame excuse for it such as"we don't promote within" or "you are over qualified for this position/program." I get tired of people discounting affirmative action and other programs designed to give minorities a chance. Don't mistake my point, I am not suggesting that people be promoted based soley on race, but I do think that there should be some type of opportunity given to qualified minorities. If my personal experiences hadn’t shown me otherwise, maybe I would say eliminate it. When Michelle Obama made the statement about this being the first time in her adult life she was proud to be an American, many white people got mad. Well let me tell you why I understood Mrs. Obama’s plight. Many Black people have to work extra hard to prove ourselves to others. When I turn on the news and read about white police officers being acquitted for killing Black people, why should I be proud of that? When I know I am not welcomed in certain neighborhoods in 2008, why should I be proud of that? How about the many times I have been shopping in a predominately white mall and I am followed around like I am a criminal? Or, the sales clerk ignores me completely? Should I be proud of that? Dr. King had a dream that one day his children would be judged by the content of their character and not by skin color, but how often does that really occur? I get tired of people saying race doesn't matter, but it does. If it didn't matter, people wouldn't say "race doesn't matter."