It's unbelievable

For the people who have been following my blog for sometime, I've often shared the good, the bad, and the ugly as it relates to my experiences dating. Well, I've got some more comical things to share.

There was this guy who was sweating me HARD for a year. I believe he was living with someone and they had a small child, and I guess he thought I wouldn't mind. I was not interested in him for other reasons, but that just added fuel to the fire. One day I saw him out and he kept on trying to pursue me. When he finished talking to me, my sister said" He really likes you a lot".

Well, the other day, I checked my e-mail and he sent me an e-mail to see how I was doing and told me he got married and sent the link to the wedding pictures. I was too tickled. When he was trying to get with me, he was planning a wedding. LOL I hope this means he will stop trying.

Then there is this other guy I used to date who dumped me because he said that it was too much pressure. I'm not sure who was pressuring him, but it wasn't me. When I mentioned this to some male friends they all told me that was a bunch of bullshit!(Which I already knew.) If he's a man and he can't handle you, that's not a real man or the kind of man you want/need to be with. Just imagine what he'll do when things really get tough.

I wasn't too surprised by this guy or his actions. When I met him, I told him that he wasn't ready for me, but he tried to convince himself that he was. He had also made some other decisions that let me know he lacked maturity.

In both of these situations, I believe the males were only doing as they knew. It is unfortunate that so many women will put up with this type of tomfoolery. One of my mantras has always been "what one man won't do, another will." This is true of women and that's why a lot of men do the things they do.

What I don't know...

Today I went to a conference fr beauty professionals. I have been licensed as a nail technician for quite some time. One of the requirements is to obtain continuing education hours every two years. I originally went to the conference with the intent on getting my hours, but I left with so much more.

This year I didn't take any product related classes. All of the classes were pertaining to the business aspect and not the technical side. Some of the classes I took were actually beneficial to any industry. I left feeling renewed and ready to conquer the world.

There were a few things that had a tremendous impact on me. One thing that I really stuck with me was the following question: What is it that I don't know that if I did know would make a difference in what/who I'm trying to become/accomplish? When the speaker Geno Stampora posed this question, it got me to thinking. I can't say that I have the answer to this question, but it surely has gotten me to thinking. BTW, Mr. Stampora, if you're reading this, you were right about that dinner conversation:)

Is free!

Is glad to be free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reflections of my life and lessons that I've learned

I have been reflecting upon my life for a few months and some of the lessons that I've learned. I decided to chronicle them after reading a note from one of my friends on Facebook (in no particular order) to share with people and hopefully they will learn from them as well.

1. Love- I am not sure if it's better to have known love than to have never loved at all. I'm still pondering this one.

2. Listening and hearing are two different things. People can hear but don't listen. Listening is active and most people haven't gotten this.

3. Friends-Most people really don't know what it means to be a friend. Friendship is not something I take lightly and I've learned that most people don't value friendship as I.

4. Words do hurt!- I wish I knew who started that 'sticks and stones' mess. It is a lie from the pit of hell. Words are very hurtful and sometimes it's our 'friends' who spew them out.

5. Standards- I've been told that my standards are too high, especially when it comes to my expectations of a man. If I don't stand for something, I'll fall for anything. I'm still baffled by individuals who will research a car, home, career, etc., in depth but won't do the same for a relationship. I value myself and I deserve God's best.

6. Education- Education has become watered/dumbed down over the years and many people are okay with it. I am not sure how this can be fixed, but don't be mad at me because I hold my students to a higher standard because I believe in them and want them to do well.

7. Class(not the class system)- So many people like to think they possess class, but somewhere down the line this vision/definition has become distorted. When I think of class, I think about Jackie O., Princess Di, Michelle Obama, and Diahann Carroll.

8. Integrity- Integrity is becoming extinct. People are no longer concerned with honoring their word. They'll commit to something and either back out at the last minute of don't show up at all. Sometimes they'll offer an excuse, but most times they won't.

9. Most people truly don't want to see me succeed.- I've learned that so many people who claimed to be my friend and want to see me do well, really don't. Subconsciously, they don't want me to surpass them. I know this because of the comments/remarks that roll from their lips.

10. Seasons, reasons and lifetime.- People fall into the three aforementioned categories and sometimes we try to make them be something they are not intended to be. I've learned to let go of toxic people and toxic relationships. It has not been easy, but I am grateful that I have.

11. Most people who say they love God don't always show it.- If you are a Christian, I don't think you should have to tell people this. Your actions would show who you truly are.

12. Parenting- This is probably the most difficult job and no matter how hard you try to do the right thing, someone will always find fault with you.

13. Parenting- You can't tell other people how to parent their children because they are not always receptive to your thoughts or experiences.

14. Education- It is the key to a better you!

15. Education- It can never be taken away from you once you have it.

16. Truth- Most individuals can't handle the truth. People claim they want honesty, but once you give it to them if often creates a problem.

17. Opinions- Everyone is entitled to an opinion and I have never understood why people get mad about this. People opinions are just that and if everyone shared the same view points, this world would be boring.

18. People don't always do better when they know better.- I believe a lot of people are rebellious. They don't want to follow directions when instructed. There are people who know what they are doing is wrong, but they insist on doing it anyway. It is difficult to change ones thought process when they have been thinking a certain way for years.

19. Perception- Things are not always as they seem. They way one person perceives something or a situation has a lot to do with prior experiences.

20. The past- People always say the past should be left behind, but that is often difficult to do. Realistically speaking, a lot of people may have thought they left the past behind until someone or something triggers that memory and then they are reliving it. Our past is what has helped shape us into who we are today.

21. I'm still a work in progress.- I know God has some more things to work out of me and I am trying to be obedient during this process.

22. It's okay to question God.- I know many people may not agree with this, but I have learned that it's okay to question God. He already knows that we were going to do it because we don't understand His decisions.

23. Spiritual growth/maturity- There are some people who will always play church and that's alright. Don't get mad at me because I'm not doing it.

24. Hell- I am not going to hell for anyone else. No one is worth me going to hell for so don't overestimate your importance in my life.

25. Family- You can't choose your family, but you can choose how you deal with them.

26. Goals- Goals are great to have, but without a plan it is nothing more than a dream.

27. Destiny- I believe God has destined me for great things, I just have to follow His will to accomplish it.

Just my 2 cents

I just wanted people to know that my other blog is up and running. It's http://rants-raves-andmy2cents.blogspot.com

This blog will focus be just like the title states. I hope you enjoy it just as much as this one. I'll still blog on both and sometimes the post may be the same.

Nothing much has changed for Black people

I know many people have been in an uproar about Professor Henry Gates recent arrest in his home in Cambridge, MA. For those people who are unaware of who he is, you can google him to find additional information about him. Mr. Gates is an educated Black man who was reminded the other day by the Cambridge police that he is nothing more than a nigger (yes, I said it). Before you all get your panties in a bunch, the way he was treated shows Black America that is what the white officers thought of him.

Many Black men experience that same treatment Prof. Gates received on a daily basis and it often goes unnoticed. Most of these men are not educated, but some are. It doesn't matter in most places because any Black male is an easy target for police.

I am not sure if Black people living in America will ever get treated fairly. There are many people who often like to claim that race relations have improved but I beg to differ. If you have never been in a store and the clerk overlooked you to service another patron when it was obvious that you were next, then things haven't improved. When you are a Black female working in corporate and you are a no nonsense individual, you are labled a bitch. If this same woman is white, she is aggressive. I am not sure why this occurs, but it does. More often than not, a Back woman has to prove herself to everyone before she is given a promotion. Then if she is promoted, she has to worry about others trying to sabotage her career. Does that sound like race relations have improved? When you have educated Black people being turned down for jobs based on their names sounding too ethnic, surely things have changed. When banks enter minority communities and prey on the residents because many of them are uneducated and as a result are taken advantage of, that surely has to be a clear indication that things have changed.

I could list many more, but the reality is this: race relations are pretty much the same. I don't think it will change until more people will wake up and smell the cocoa beans. Michael Jackson challenged us all to look at the man in the mirror. Let us all take heed to his words.

Changes

There are and have been a number of changes in Chicago. One of the major changes has been the tearing down of the Chicago Housing Authority Projects. Most if not all of them have been demolished and new homes have been built to replace them. The new homes include townhouses, condos and single-family dwellings. So what is or has happened to the residents that once occupied these projects? A good number of them has been pushed into various neighborhoods throughout the city and suburbs. As a result, many neighborhoods are experiencing crime that may have been minimal in the past.

When the housing projects were in existence, all of the crime was in a concentrated area. Now they are gone, it has made a lot of neighborhoods seem as if crime is on the rise. What can be done to eliminate the crime that is taking place throughout the city?

It is often very difficult to show people that crime is not the answer. Even if these individuals go to jail, many of them return upon release because they have a difficult time matriculating into society. A lot of critics would argue that the schools and teachers need to do a better job of teaching these kids about the options available to them. Students are only with teachers 6 or 7 hours a day. The majority of their day is spent with family and friends. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that the people the students spend the majority of their time with has the most influence over them.

The President has challenged all parents to obtain higher education for at least a year or two. I believe if more parents would do this, more kids would see the possibilities available to them. The oneness is not on the school system and teachers alone. Parents play a big part of this equation. If the parents would take an active role in their child's life, they would know what their precious baby is doing and maybe some of this crime wouldn't occur.