The stupid things that men say (and do)

I was speaking to a friend today and he and I talk on a regular basis. We have this joke that he is my FB (fake boyfriend). Well, a couple of months ago he purchased a new luxury vehicle. We always share our good and bad times, so I told him to stop by so I can see it. Today, I teased him about how he hasn't taken me for a ride in this new car and he said when he had come by, I was on my way out with my FB. That sparked my latest rant.

I was telling him how I have men interested (so they say) in dating me, but they are not ready for me. I know from other men I have dated (that realized after the fact) what type of woman I am and my worth. Well, I proceeded to rant about how men think because you are a single woman and they are a single man, you automatically want to get married (to them). I had to tell him that I think it is nice that these men think highly of themselves, but who said I wanted to marry them? Now, don't get me wrong, I would like to get married one day, but I want it to be for keeps. I am not going to marry any ole' body who comes along. My friend politely told me that [maybe] my standards are higher than most women and [maybe] I intimidate these men.

I don't know if my standards are high but I think after you reach a certain age, you should be a man of your word. (The same goes for ladies.) I think after you reach a certain point in your life, the foolishness should stop. I don't feel like I should have to tell a man that I like to go out every once in a while. I also don't feel like I should have to tell a man that I like to smell flowers while I am breathing. I also don't think I should have to fight to get a man's time. I should not have to tell him everything that I like to do. I think he should take the time to figure it out if he is truly interested. I think these are things that he should know and understand. I also don't believe I should settle for second best. I work to provide a life for my daughter and myself. I am trying to get some things going for me so I don't necessarily have to work hard my entire life and I don't have a lot of time for stress.

Just the past few weeks, I have gotten calls from guys I haven't spoken to in months/years. One guy told me how he didn't realize how much I had helped him to become the person he is today until after I stopped talking to him. This was the same dude who got me a less than stellar gift for Christmas. If it is the thought that counts, he was truly thoughtless. I told him thank you for allowing me to hear this while I am alive (you do know most people don't share these thing until someone dies)and he really made my day. (I think he did that because I sent him a text message[that he claims he didn't get] after I had seen him and his family[some girl and a child] at church that Sunday.)

Another guy called me and he is too busy trying to get me in his bed he can't clean his house. Now, don't get me wrong, everything I own doesn't have a place, but I don't have crap all over the place (you moved into over a year ago) and call myself tyring to have company. I don't mind a little paper, but when there is paper where furniture should be, something is wrong. Also, when your dishes haven't been washed in over a week and you have a dishwasher, you living nasty.

Then, I had one guy to act a fool because we were supposed to get together and he called to cancel/reschedule at the last minute. Now, I am flexible, but don't act like I don't have a life. He got mad because I had plans for later and he pulled a "B" move and didn't answer my calls. Then he said "He was feeling pressured". I am not sure how when he cancelled on me.

(This happened a while ago, but I had to throw it in.) I also had this one guy try to pretend like he was something he was not. He was trying to be a baller and a shot caller. He invited me out and told me my daughter could come. We rode out to Schaumburg with him and we got something to eat on the way back. Now prior to this, he was trying to act like he had it going on. So I decided we would go to Shaw's Crab House because that and Pompeii's were the only places I noticed. Well, he ordered some gumbo and was picking at it with his fork, only eating the shrimp out of it. He kept on saying to us to get what we wanted, so my daughter (who knows little about being modest) ordered calamari for an appetizer, her entree was shrimp and scallops and we shared a creme brulee for desert. My silly daughter told me that when the check arrived, the guy eyes got real huge. She did wait until a few weeks later to tell me. I laughed so hard. My daughter asked me if I had spoken to him lately and when I told her no, that is when she shared his facial expression with me. She also told me that she probably busted his wallet and he shouldn't have told her to order whatever she wanted.

Now, I say all of this because I had to get this rant off my chest. I like to go out and I also like to feel appreciated every once in a while. I don't think I should have to tell a man who is supposed to be grown these things. I think he should try to get to know me to see what I like. The guy who gave me the cheesy gift, obviously didn't know me that well. We had dated for a few years (at least I thought) and he still got me something that was not me. I wonder why guys do things like that? This guys would always call me and I would be in one of my favorite stores, Target. Logic says that he should have gotten a gift card to that store, but he didn't. I also had a guy to buy me some products from Bath and Body Works. Now he got a fragrance that is not my favorite and a product that I don't use. Now, I did appreciate that gift more than I did the other gift. I just think that gifts are personal and if you don't really know a person in that manner, gift cards or cash is always good.

My Breast are Fine

I just wanted to update everyone on my lastest appointment. My breast are fine. I had an ultrasound today and they look good. I have to go back in 6 months, but I feel a whole lot better. I will keep you all updated.

Same-sex unions affects everyone.

Today, I went to visit a church in the South Suburbs. This church is located in Tinley Park, IL. During the service, there was a video clip about Proposition 8. This is designed to protect the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman. Now, this post is not about who should and should not be allowed to marry, but it is about the video clip. In this clip, there was a couple in MA (I believe) whose 5 year old son (kindergarten) was given a book about same sex unions. The parents were concerned that the public school distributed this information to their child without their notification. Long story short, the school said since same-sex marriage was legal in the state, they did not have to tell the parents about it and they were free to discuss this issue at any time with any public school age child.

Now, you are probably wondering what does this have to do with me. Well, this issue is a topic in which both presidential candidates have spoken out about in their campaigns. Now, the concern is also with your local legislators. It is important to know how they stand on this topic. I am not in favor of anyone in the school teaching my child about same-sex marriages and homosexual relationships. It is my understanding that the book (I can't remember the title) is already in Illinois schools.

This video clip taught me something I didn't know. If same-sex unions are legalized, educators may be forced to teach this in their classes whether they agree with it or not. I am not sure if I am comfortable with this being forced upon small children at such an impressionable age. Now, what people do in their homes is their business; nevertheless, I just don't know if I want someone teaching my child about homosexual relationships and they probably don't understand male/female relationships.

I hope people will take think about this as they cast their votes.

Is there hope for the future?

I pose this question because another young high school student was shot and killed on the bus this past Sunday. She was not the intended target, but nonetheless her life is lost. This young girl attended the same high school as Blair Holt (who was killed on the bus last spring). I wonder what is really going on in the Black community? It is so sad that many of the young children I teach will probably die before they reach the age of 25.

A few weeks ago, I was speaking with the inclusion teacher in one of my classes and we were trying to figure out what is going on with the students and why they are so apathetic. One of things we discovered was for many of the students we teach, high school is as good as it gets. There will be no college graduations, wedding showers, weddings, house warming parties and things of that nature. There may be a baby shower, but it won't be a grand event. We also realized that many of them won't accomplish much in life because of the people around them. I want to believe that they will overcome, but it is hard when you are fighting with generations of a poverty stricken mentality. Never before in my life have I encountered a group of people who don't see anything wrong with being poor and receiving government handouts. When I was growing up, we were poor and wore hand-me-downs (from a neighbor). My parents didn't receive government assistance (I don't know if they didn't qualify of if it was an issue of pride). We were what you would consider the working poor, nevertheless, we overcame and wanted to succeed.

A lot of my students don't see anything wrong with public assistance and are quite proud to say they receive it. I don't want people to get the wrong impression, I am not against people receiving government assistance; however I am against people becoming dependent upon these services. I think the system is partly to blame for this. When people are in school trying to better themselves, they usually don't qualify for assistance. Now, if it is supposed to "assist" people in a time of need, why can't they get this help? It seems like it is designed to create dependency. As a result, a lot of people and their families remain on public assistance for years with no hope/intention of ending this dependency.

What also bothers me about this is oftentimes people who do not earn a lot of money qualify for various grants and financial aid if they want to go to college and many of them don't take advantage of these programs because of the negative people around them or for lack of ambition. I knew a girl who was receiving public assistance and she enrolled in cosmetology school. Public Aid paid for her school (in full) and purchased the books and materials she needed (curling irons, blow dryers and other hair care items). Why did she drop out of the program? Maybe it was the people around her discouraging her or just laziness? I don't know. I don't get it; if the people around you will talk about you if you do well and if you don't do well, so what's the harm? I say if they are going to talk, let it be for something good.

I want to believe that my students will be successful, but I am having a difficult time buying into this philosophy when they don't do any work or come prepared. I think America has dumbed down education to the point of no return. At the beginning of each school year, I have my students to write down their goals for the year. Most, if not all of my students said the same things: (1) get to school on time, (2) pass all of their classes, and (3) stay out of trouble. Now, maybe I am crazy, but those seem like things you should be doing. I guess if no one is checking behind them, then what the hey! I know for some of them these may actually be a difficult thing to accomplish, but when 95-97% of my students told me this, I am beginning to think that these are home issues. what happened to a student wanting to make the honor roll or be the best in his/her class? Maybe it is because coonery and buffoonery still exist and many of my students have bought into the theory that fools get paid.

I guess it comes down to a few things: (1) America is the blame for this lack luster attitude and social dependency. I think many students don't see anything wrong with Section 8 housing, free lunch, food stamps and/or medical cards when they are wearing the latest designer shoes and clothes, have big screen televisions, and cable or satellite television service. Oh, I forgot to mention they have the latest cell phones and IPOD's. It baffles me that students have all of these items and no dictionary, books or computer in the home. Where are the priorities? When will parents begin to re-focus their priorities and get children the things they need? I also want them to start parenting their children.

Many of my students don't have a clue about things that happen outside their communities. They don't think these things affect them. Well, they can and probably do. I have tried to encourage my students to pay attention to the presidential campaign because in four years, they will be eligible to vote for the next president. If they are not aware of some of the issues taking place now, they won't be aware in four years. They need to know what candidate is going to fight for the poor and which will say to hell with them because they are a burden to society.

I try to be optimistic, but I am having a difficult time seeing the glass as half full. I know it is not all of the student's fault, but when will the parent's accept responsibility? I saw my parents working a job where there was not room for advancement and I didn't want that type of life. I also believe my community environment played a significant role in this as well.

I have often voiced my concerns about the lack luster attitude parents and students have as it relates to students and the educational system. I have noticed that most of my students who don't see anything wrong with receiving these government "benefits" (that's what they think they are), maybe it should be tied/linked to their attendance and performance. I think if the government told parents that their government checks were based upon their child's attendance and performance in school, maybe their attitude and actions will change. I know it may sound extreme, but think about this, when you are late for work, sometimes you get docked for this. Now, if a person paycheck is docked for coming late, why shouldn't these government checks get docked?

To scoop or not to scoop?

I've noticed in recent days a number of people walking their dogs with no pooper scooper or bag in sight. I've actually seen some people walk away after their canine has pooped and left the treat in someones grass or on the sidewalk. Now, I had a pooch and we had to put him down a few years ago. I always carried a bag and a piece of newspaper for when he would poop. After a while, I had gotten so good where as I would set the paper down and he would poop on the paper. All I had to do was roll it up and put it in the bag.

I don't understand why people want to leave their dog's feces lying around. I think this is rude and inconsiderate on all who do this. I don't know if this occurs in all neighborhoods, but I know I am tired of seeing it in mine. I wish I was able to give people a ticket for leaving these things behind. Maybe I should pick up their dogs poop and put it on their doorstep. I don't know what the answer is and maybe you can help me out. What should/could be done to make others more mindful of leaving their dogs "treats" for others to step in and take home with them?

Dream Big.

I've been back to work for two weeks now and so far it's been pretty good. I have one section of freshmen and 4 sections of sophomores. I really like the sophomore curriculum because everything we do is related to the American Dream and is it attainable for all. Last year when I taught this unit, I really had a good time with the students. many of them got into what they desire and how their parents and other family members are the ones who might prevent them for accomplishing them. When it comes to my students, I am brutally honest with them. I let them know that no one owes them anything and they need to learn how to work hard for what they want. If they desire to attend college, they need to start investigating things about the school they want to attend. They should know what the required ACT score is for admissions.

This past week, my students were to read an article in their workbooks and answer some opinion based questions about the article. What I have come to realize is many elementary school teachers focus so much on what the book says instead of teaching students to become independent thinkers. I am having a difficult time with getting them to think for themselves. Many of them did not answer any of the questions because they were concerned with getting the question wrong. I keep stressing to them that there is no way they can get something wrong when it asks what do you think.

I also gave an assignment that required the students to write down their goals for this school year (personal and/or academic) and their expectations for the class. Many of them had the same goals: come to school/class on time, pass all of their classes and stay out of trouble. Now, I know you are probably thinking like me, they should already be doing these things, right, wrong! You'd be surprised to know that many students miss so much school and no one is checking up on them. I have students in my class that have missed a week and we've been in for two weeks.

Throughout this school year, we are going to work on a dream book. All students are required to have a scrapbook or binder to hold all of their contents. It is my desire that my students learn to dream big. Many of them have been in classes and schools where the expectations have been lowered. A lot of my students complained when I posted the grading scale for them. I modified it a little from the Chicago Public School (CPS) suggested scale. For the CPS scale I think 75 and below is an "F". I changed mine to be 70 and below. I had to explain to them that when/if they go to college and they have had a grading scale where 90-100 is an "A", they are not going to be able to compete with other students where their grading scale was 95-100 is an "A". If my students earned all 90's, they truly earned a "B". I also told them to expect more from themselves. They can earn these grades if they do the work. Many of them refuse to do the work because they have had low expectations their entire lives. Some of their teachers truly don't expect them to make it and their parents definitely don't believe it. When they encounter a teacher who does expect them to do more, they think that teacher is being hard on them.

I am trying to get them to Dream Big! I want them to have higher expectations for their lives. I also want them to be realistic in their goals. I think the biggest challenge is many of these students come from low income/poverty stricken families and in those type of communities, progress is often shunned. When you want to do better, the community looks down on you because "you think you are better than them", but as soon as you make it, they will have their hands out looking for you to save them. Many of my students want to be professional athletes and rap artists, but they are not doing anything now to get there. They don't realize that they should be on the school sports team (no matter how lame they think the team is) in order to get noticed. A lot of them want to be in the limelight because they watch television and it appears like the people in the limelight have it all. I keep trying to tell them that these people need managers, attorneys, and producers. Those people get paid and oftentimes it's before the artist gets paid. All they see is the person who they believe is "getting paid". It is sad, but so true.

This brings me to another issue. This past Thursday in the Chicago Tribune, there was an article about paying students for getting good grades. An 'A' is $50, 'B' is $35 and 'C' is $20. The students will get 1/2 of the money upfront and the rest when they graduate. They are eligible to get this every quarter, but if they receive an 'F' they can't get any money. I have an issue with this because I think it undermines everything I am trying to teach my students. I want them to know that their reward comes when they don't have to work a minimum wage job. How can I get them to understand this when people want to pay them for earning good grades? In my opinion it is similar to giving teachers money for "merit" pay. I think when money is involved, it can cause some to do some unscrupulous things.

It baffles me to think that education has gotten to this point. I know when I was in school, I got good grades because my parents expected me to do so, not because I thought I would get some money for it. I know what it is like to grow up without having. We wore hand-me-downs and received commodities (government food). We didn't buy name brand foods all the time. I know what it is like to be without. I don't know if my parents didn't qualify for food stamps, but I know we didn't get them. I qualified for free lunch. I know exactly what my students are experiencing, however I think the biggest difference is my parents worked jobs. They expected us to get a job when we were old enough and maintain decent grades. My sisters and I did it and I think we are better people for doing so.

Our experiences taught us how to get an education to better ourselves. It is nothing against our parents because they did a wonderful job in rearing us. They also did what they felt necessary for us. What they did do is instill in us a good work ethic and the desire to go to college. I am still in the process of dreaming big. When I look at my current situation, I often say "this can't be as good as it gets." I am always trying to figure out a way to set higher goals and accomplish them. I think this dream book activity is going to be a great thing for all. I hope my students really take the time to put their all into it. I really want them to Dream Big.

Bright lights and plenty of food! Cha-ching.

This past Friday, I took a trip (my first one) to a local casino across the border. I had to drop something off at my friends house and we went to the dinner buffet at the casino. Now for those of you who don't know me, I am not a gambler. I prefer to spend my money on constant things like shoes, clothes, dinner, etc. Well, I must admit, the food is good. I am now a believer when the "saints" say they go for the food. I know some of them eat and play the slots, but the food is worth the trip.

When we arrived at the casino, it was around 5p. As we walked through the casino, I looked around and saw many people who looked like they had just gotten off work. It didn't seem like these people were leaving corporate jobs. I also saw many seniors. Some of these seniors were in wheel chairs, had oxygen tanks and other debilitating conditions. Now, I got to thinking, you are sick and in a wheel chair and you are at the casino playing the slot machines.





This visit got me to wondering, how many people in this casino have lost their homes due to foreclosure or are in the process of losing their homes? I know many of these people probably have past due bills. It really saddens me to see these poor people (and I mean poor) throwing money away. I know a lot of these individuals probably just got paid and took their entire paychecks to the boat. It looked like some of these people were/are living paycheck to poor check. I am confident many of them probably took the shuttle bus there. You do know that a lot of these casino's send buses to nursing homes and designated bus stops to pick up patrons. I know they used to charge a fee (maybe $5) but I'm sure if you don't have it they'll let you go through.

My friend won a few dollars and after that occurred, there was a lady who sitting at the machine to the left and she got right on that same machine trying to win some money. I guess these people don't know that these machines are designed for the house to win. I remember watching one of the news shows some years ago (20/20 or Dateline) and there was a man suing a particular casino for his gambling addiction. When it came down to it, it was discovered that the agency that was supposed to monitor the makers of the slot machines was working together to rig the machines. If a machine was supposed to pay out 1:10,000, they might fix it where it was 1:100,000. Towards the end of the segment, the host made a comment about this flawed system and posed the following question: If this is taking place in the gaming industry, what other industries are affected by this? I guess one will never know.

My hope and prayer it that these people wake up and smell the cocoa beans before it's too late and they are sitting on the curbside.